Saturday, April 14, 2012
I didn't realize until today when I signed on here how much better I feel when I'm on here reading about what's going on with all of you and talking through our struggles. Lately I haven't been happy at all. Well, like I'm happy sometimes, but only because I force myself to put on a front. But ultimately, I'm not. I feel like I'm stuck where I am and I can't get out. I feel trapped and I have no freedom. This bothers me because I feel like it will never change. It can't change... but it's ultimately because of a choice I made. They say everything gets better or everything can be fixed. This is not true. There are certain decisions that you can make in life that are permanent and you can't change them. To be honest, I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to do this. I feel like giving up because I'm tired of fighting....it really does feel hopeless to me. I'm sorry this post is so depressing and I hope everyone else is doing a lot better then I am.